So Ellen Page denied she's a lesbian?

Naturally, these news only reach me now. I hate this world.

Oh, Ellen, baby, I'm so over you.

Not I'll go and be depressed.

I wanted to talk about something interesting . . .

. . . but then I found this video of Ioan Gruffudd walking around somewhere, and my plans went right out the window.

He truly is the Welsh Fox.

Can I just say that, if anyone ever forced me to turn The Bitch Goddess Notebook into a movie (uhh), he'd totally be my first choice to play Rob Schafer.
I mean, look at him?
If Martha O'Connor didn't base his looks on Gruffudd's then... well, then she didn't.
Moving on.

Universal? Call me about those film rights . . .

Can't believe I didn't tell you this yet . . .

I had the most surreal, craziest, sickest thing happen to me on Saturday.

So I had some friends over, and we were just hanging around with the windows wide open, 'cause the summer in Germany should go to Hell for being a slut, when suddenly this bird flew inside (the animal, not a hot woman). And because we have pretty big windows it just kept crashing against them, trying to get outside.
It was so horrible.
So, anyway, I opened every window and kind of urged it outside, but it was pretty obvious that it was too hurt to ever fully recover.

The next day: my friends had left and I was cleaning up the living room, when I looked out of the glass door at the far side of the room, and saw a dead bird lying on the porch.
It was so sad, and I carried it into the garden and kinda threw it into the bushes (I'm sorry, but what was I supposed to do?).
And, I swear to God, two minutes after I came back inside, there was ANOTHER bird flying around in the flat.
Somehow I managed to get it outside, but that was one of the most surreal things ever.

You know how birds fly against a window, trying to get outside?
It's got something suicidal to it, and then with the second bird... I don't know, I felt like I was in The Happening or The Birds or something.

Anyway, I had to get that off my chest.
It just made me sick.

Oh damn!

HAHA!
Check out kanookle and some weird dude rapping.

Love. It.
Craziness for everyone!

The Football Stuff

So, Germany is not the Europe Soccer Champion.
Spain won, mere minutes ago, and, boy, do they deserve it.
Germany was shit. (love 'em)

Anyway, oddly enough, I'm not struck with depression, and I'm actually really happy for Spain. They were amazing in pretty much every match, and you gotta love those guys.
Names I learned today: (Sergio) Ramos, Silva and Villa. See? I learn fast.
Then of course there's Fernando Torres, but I just can't bring myself to like him.
Bash me for this, but every time I see him, I have to think of a Spanish Cristiano Ronaldo.
Ouch.

I promise . . .

. . . that no matter how bad you feel, this video will make you smile.

Gotta love Paul Rudd.

It's a big birthday-day!

Okay, first of, happy birthday, Sara!
(That was on Wednesday, but since she doesn't read this blog, well. Anyway, happy birthday, sweety!)

Today:

Tony Leung (or, as credited on IMDb: "Tony Leung Chiu Wai" - never, ever heard the last two names. Whatever) : 46 (seriously? These Asians, never look their age . . . ts ts!)

Tobey Maguire: 33 (could not care less . . .)

Ed Westwick: 21 (yay!)

Christian Kane: 34 (really? Not possible. When he started on Angel he was already like 30, 32 or something. That would make him 30 during his last appearance on Angel . . . crazy, crazy, crazy. Anyway, he rocks.)

Yancey Arias: 37 (you'll know him when you see him)

No woman-birthday havers? What the munchy?

Note to self: things that made me smile today...

1. Sleeping in - without feeling like I'm wasting my free time.
2. Great weather - not too hot, not too cold.
3. Being alone - okay, I miss my Mum, I always do (: But hearing nothing but the noises YOU make is magic.
4. My driving lesson - get off the streets, guys! Here I come!
   
5. My Dad - because he is my soul mate, and my guardian. Dad, some things are too big for words. This is one of them.
   
6. Being able to stay up. As. Long. As. Humanly. Possible. Guess why. 'Coz it's the holiday!
7. Looking forward to thing - friends visiting tomorrow and the day after; my vacation; having a future with writing.
8. Being creative/getting something done - I didn't do a lot today, but I'm pretty happy with what I did.
9. 
   

Happy Birthday, Sean Hayes!

Sean Hayes turned 38 today. Congratsaps!

And for anyone who has no idea who Sean Hayes is: he played Jack "Just Jack" McFarland in "Will & Grace". I miss that show.

Jack, I'll always love you. Even though you, ya know, can never love me back.
But that's okay. We can be friends and watch "Buffy" together. (:

Germany vs. Turkey II

Cannot stop laughing.

Germany won. Yippie-kay-yay, motherpeople!
And you know what? No-one died.
Which is nice, too.

I just watched "My Super Sweet Sixteen" . . .

. . . and my brain shall never recover.

Blah.

Germany vs. Turkey

Haha.
This sounds funnier that I expected it to.

So today is the footie game between Germany and Turkey, and I cannot tell you what measures have been takes around Cologne.

When Germany won against Portugal, I was like "Yaaay! Public viewing!".
And then I heard that they had to compete against Turkey and I thought "Oooh, not leaving the house for a week!"

Here's why: The Turkish population in Cologne (and Germany in general) is huge. I mean H.U.G.E. Now, we all know that football fans aren't s´necessarily the most friendly-when-drunk people.
I don't know, it's hard to explain without sounding racist or extremely un-patriotic (what?).

Anyway, look the doors, sweethearts, and have a great evening!

It's the holidays, kids!

That's right!
My holidays started today. Woohoo!
Six weeks filled with sleep and idleness.
Nothing to do all. Day. Long.

Jeez, I'm bored already.
Yawn.

Expect tons and tons and tons and tons and tons of useless information.

Fun!

Abandon all hope, ye who click here . . .

It's The Happening-ning!

Produced and published by ObviouslyKidding Productions.

What I'm doing tonight? Oh, just having a beer with Speedy and the Mac Guy . . .

I could not be more jealous.

Here are Scott Speedman (left) and Justin Long (right) being all confused, cause that's not me sitting with them. Who's that guy in the middle? He looks a bit like Ben from LOST (i.e. creepy!).

Did anyone watch the "Die Hard 4" bloopers? Justin Long is the funniest person on earth.
Period.

You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine.

. . .

Yeah. The title of this post is that crappy.

I just re-watched the trailer of "Sunshine", and it reminded me of how much I love this movie - and Danny Boyle.

Okay, to be honest, his movies just freak me out. I mean, the seriously scare me. The have something so subtle.
Take "28 Day Later..." for instance. Except for that monkey-opening-sequence, and the thing after the church, and the thing in the house of the parents... well, okay, stuff happens. But in between there are sequences full of peace and beauty (the horses, for example - no pun intended), but all the time you feel that things aren't nice and quiet, but pretty frikkin', soddin' bad.

So in "Sunshine", there's that whole aspect of loneliness.

SPOILER!

When the first character, the captain, dies, there instantly is this disquieting feeling of forsakenness. He was a kind of father-figure, a reasonable, down-to-earth leader, and he is, of all the eight astronauts, the first person that dies.
Leaves the very nervous and obviously incapable second-in-command guy to be the captain.
Then there's the one guy who's suicidal, because he blames himself for everything.

There is this one amazing scene, pretty close to the show-down, where the remaining four crew-members decide to kill the suicidal guy. And it's seriously one of the most intense scenes I've ever seen.
Do they make the right decision? Yeah. Of course you can't save one person and sacrifice the rest of humanity.
But you can't really say that anyone is thoroughly convinced.

Here's a really nice music video (with a song from "Silent Hill 4: The Room" - ooh, yeah!).
Again, major spoilers!

Moments of weakness. Moments of strength.

I suppose they’re quite common.

The problem is that sometimes, I have too much time.
Two or three minutes will do.
It's was always the same, for example, when I lay in bed at night, and couldn’t sleep (I dealt with insomnia for some time), and you can’t protect yourself from some things, some thoughts.
That’s what it’s like right now. The easiest decisions seem like impossible tasks. In these moments, I’m so happy I’m alone.
It feels good, because I know that my face just falls apart, and I want to scream and cry.
It feels bad, because I often don’t trust myself to be alone. Not even yet.
I haven’t had a relapse for at least 6 months. But I imagine it a lot. I play with the thought of slipping back into old patterns, because it gives me power.

There was a time when I didn’t want to feel better. A long time, actually. Because fighting against something takes energy and I was so exhausted that I didn’t want to fight.
I’m still exhausted, but it’s getting better. I sleep, again. Entire nights just snoring in my bed. It’s the most amazing feeling to wake up in the morning and actually be kind of awake.
Or I’ll just be sitting in class or meeting my friends and suddenly I’m flooded with happiness.
Pure, unexplainable happiness.
I used to be afraid of that, too. Because happiness passes, and pain and sadness are more constant feelings.

In the past few months, though, I have met some wonderful people who taught me that it is okay to be sad, and that I don’t always have to smile.
There is no way to express my gratefulness.
But the most important thing I’ve learned is that I can trust myself more and more.
It’s still a long way from being happy just because I’m me, but I’m getting there.
And that journey is the craziest, funniest, saddest, inspiring thing.

And, just because I feel like it, here is Flyleaf's "All Around Me". I love this band, and especially this song.
Enjoy!

Germany vs. Portugal II

So, Germany won.
Cristiano Ronaldo cried (off-camera, but whatever).
I can now die and go to heaven.

Aww, bliss!

Robert Downey Jr: Off the wagon?

Okay, I'm taking these news directly off Evil Beet Gossip, just because I love that guy so, so much. He' s an amazing actor, and he totally makes every movie in the world work for me (I'm talking "Iron Man", here).

Anyway, I'm not trying to make all this sound less negative or sad, but the things is this: when you're battling an addiction to anything, there'll be relapse. I've battled an addiction for over two years (although a lot of people will probably say that my problem was far less addicting than drugs or alcohol - I respectfully disagree), and I've had relapses all the fucking time.
Now that might mainly have something to do with me not being a very stable person in general (but I'm working on that), but I just hope that people understand that.
A relapse is not the end of a battle.
It's just a break in between.

That being said, best of luck to this wonderful, talented actor.

The universal significance of home-made trailers

Okay, so it’s not universal, but it sure has significance.

For me, personally, it is a fillip to write more, because I try to think: “Okay, if this becomes a best-seller, and gets made into a movie, this is what it could look like.”
And I love trailer - a good trailer is truly fun.

So of course the entire thing is very naive, but it gets you to put your ass in front of your computer and just write a little.
But it can also be a distraction, like a harbourage from writing.
That’s because I “suffer” from “writer’s angst”. (:
Seriously, sometimes, I feel like I’ll never put a single word to paper ever again, because it’s so senseless and exhausting.

And then I start writing again because of said trailer, and I remember how much fun it is.

At least, that’s what I think.

Germany vs. Portugal

Soccer-wise.
This is not against Portugal.
I like Portugal. I’ve never been there, but I heard it’s nice.
Who I don’t like is Cristiano Ronaldo.
Listen, I’m all about men who show their emotions, but there’s a line that no-one, no matter if male, female or alien (“American Dad”, duh!) should cross.

Make sure you watch the footie tonight!

Whoever on YouTube thought it would be a good idea to recommend the "Hitman" trailer to me, should be hanged immediately.

Did anyone like this movie?
I hated it.
I hated it big time.
If anyone wants to know what I hated about it, log onto IMDb.com, go to the “Hitman” board, and read stuff written by “hannah-rose-3".

Warning: These posts are extremely hateful.

And it’s not that I didn’t like the concept of “Hitman” (the games are AWESOME), or that I don’t like Timothy Olyphant, (who was also on Jimmy Kimmel, but not in a boy band), but it’s the fact that they called this movie “Hitman”. As in “reference to the game”.
Hate!

Will someone watch that Narnia movie with me? Please?

Oh, please.
Pleasepleasepleaseplease.

I LOVE Narnia.

I can hardly remember anything from the first movie, except for James McAvoy’s performance, but I sure know I loved it.
I read the Narnia books as a kid, although I think just “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” one, because I can’t remember the words “Prince Caspian” for the life of me.
It’s just one of these childhood-things, you know?
Like, if they ever decided to re-do “The Neverending Story”, I would sit there, the night the movie opened, and be totally nervous, because it’s the frikkin’ “Neverending Story”.

You know what the best part is? “Narnia: Prince Caspian” actually looks really good.

So I searched the internet for a little more footage, and found this hilarious interview with Ben Barnes, who plays Prince Caspian, on Jimmy Kimmel.

I love how Kimmel says “You appear to be from another country”. Nice one. (:
Anyway, the Narnia footage starts at around 5:40.
There’s also some footage of Ben Barnes from when he was in a boy band.
It’s actually kind of good, considering it’s a boy band.

Oh, I so wanna watch this movie.

A nice, fussy welcome!

Wow.
Okay, I don't know how you start something like that.
I guess I introduce myself first.

So, my name is Hannah, and I'm from Germany.
I've read numerous blogs and followed the stories of several vloggers (is that what it's called? Man, these words...), and I've always wanted to start a blog myself.
I'm not quite sure why I never did it, but today I just said "Fuck it" and started one.
So this is it.

I could of course say the usual introduction stuff, but I'm not a big fan of formality.
Here are some truly defining facts about me:

1. I dyed my hair black. Yeah. I just wanted to do this. I was in a kind of emo/gothic phase back then. That's over now, but I kept the black hair. I just like it, and it's a constant reminder of a time when I wasn't feeling good. It makes me remember that life was worse once, and how good I've got it now. I know, it's just a hair color, but still...

2. Concerning LOST, I like Desmond, Richard and Sun best. Nuff said.

3. I like to read. No, wait, that's a lie. I LOVE to read. And not chick lit, or crime or whatever, but drama (Haha, I almost wrote "Dharma"...). I love books that are so honest they're painful, so real and so tragic, that they give you nightmares. I like crazy writers, who use books as a kind of, well, channel, to tell these things that are so unimaginable (is that a word?). Some of my favorite writers are Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk and Martha O'Connor. Jeffrey Eugenides is pretty good, Susan Fletcher and JT Leroy had me in tears. Robert Harris' books are less personal, but certainly a great read. Mo Hayder is scary. And let's not talk about Richard Matheson.

4. Movies are fun, but I can't stand people who lead a life ruled by the rules that exist in the cinema-world. Whenever you read or watch something, you have to remember that it might not be real. Otherwise you're gonna lead a pretty messed up life.

5. EvilBeet is my queen. Hail her. Like, now.

6. Yes, I thought Chris Crocker's "Leave Britney Alone" was genius, thank you very much (;

7. Winter and fall are better than spring, which is better than summer.

8. Talking is good. It's important to say what you think, but at the right time. My problem was that I didn't talk for a long time.

More later.
Okay, now I'm gonna find out how to do shit on this side.
Stay tuned, whoever you are!

Hugs
xoxo
or is it
oxox?
No, I don't think.